firsts.

We sit around a table with seven other people, sipping coffee at 630 am. The seven are recovering alcoholics and I am reminded that life leaves no one unscathed. You could feel that sentiment in their tones and even see it in their weathered faces. I see a painting on a wall, an orange devil with a snake tail trailing behind him. He is in an uncorked liqour bottle with a pitchfork in one hand and in the other a chain that leads through the neck and out of the bottle, finally wrapping around the neck of the shirtless, wide-eyed man outside of it. Behind the demon are large bottles tightly capped and filled to the brim with cachaça. Inside the different bottles are: a beautiful curly haired woman, a disturbing dark creature that slightly resembles a man and in another, a beetle. When they ask me to speak I say, "My name is JP and I am not an alcoholic."

In my first AA meeting, I saw a few of God's beautiful children and I felt how much he wanted them healed. One man talked about how 11 years away from the bottle meant he was capable of feeding his mother with failing health. Another referred to current challenges between family members--life is still hard, with or without addiction, but he could see the difference in a sober and an inebriated response. I once heard that God doesn't care so much about your mistakes. He cares about how you react to them.
Thinking about it, that is why the 12 step program is so inspired. I left, not feeling pity or superior to these people, but grateful for the opportunities that I have been given me. I don't understand why some people are faced with addiction and other's not. I do not understand why I was so protected in my life. I do however know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who knows my weaknesses and my strengths. A Father who loves those seven beautiful people individually and unconditionally and supports them daily to overcome the enticing of the thing that can lead them to a fate worse than death--an endless prison.

God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change, Courage to change the
things I can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference.


The second first, I AM IN LOVE:

With this beautiful child:

Before, and when I say before I am almost always referring to before my mission (before life really began), newborns intimidated me. I have always loved kids-playing with them, getting them hyper and then sending them home with their parents. You can't really do that with newborns and I always felt like I was going to break them. Maybe my mommy instincts finally kicked in after 23 years or maybe it was just love at first sight with Cylus Winn Peterson, but I could hold this sleeping baby all day. The slightest twitch in facial muscles resembling a smile or the way his eyes track my movement is enough to keep me occupied for hours. Another first.
It amazes me how perfect this child is, truly we are God's finest creation.


The Last FIRST,
I finally made my I'm a Mormon Profile. Click here:



Here are just a few pictures, as of late:

Boarding at Bogus in Idaho