Not a lot has changed. Still here. In Provo. School. I punched a few tests in the face in the last few weeks. That means I did well. Man it feels good when you study. I realized how much the Lord is willing to help you ESPECIALLY when you have done your best to prepare. He literally fills in the rest. I feel like I am getting a much more spiritual insight into my scholastic study. As much as I loved USU, I feel like I was never who I wanted to be. I never gave it my all. I am in love with BYU and this experience. I feel like finally my work is accepted by the Lord. A GREAT FEELING!
I am working now at an assisted living center. I love old people. They make me feel like I'm in Brasil again. Just so loving and telling me how pretty and wonderful I am all the time. An adorable 80+ year old man came to me and put up his arm. He wanted me to feel his bicep. He looked at me and said, "I just got done exercising!" I loved it. Another gave me a nickname-PJ and took a picture with me. It is a positive environment and I am enjoying it.
Still think about Brasil everyday of my life. And miss it everyday of my life. Realizing a little bit more how beautiful and wonderful my mission experience was and just how much the Lord loves me. I am a broken record, yes, but I will never cease to be grateful for those 18 months.
My Book of Mormon class gives me amazing opportunities to continue to further my study of the gospel. Just a few things I have been reminded of and have seen them realized in my life.
THE LAW OF JUSTICE:
If you are wrong, you must repent so that Christ can make you right. If you have been wronged, trust in the fact that Christ has made retribution and WILL MAKE IT RIGHT.
-it is true. seen it in my life, and in the lives of many and hope to see it even more in the lives of those that I love.
Forgiveness:
"Failure to forgive retards spiritual growth." I see this and it hurts to see it. I am learning everyday to be more forgiving and I see how it sets me free. I am not tied down or held back as much as we are when we hold a grudge. It is a natural REACTION to being wronged...but that doesn't mean it is right.
We went over when Christ visits the nephites in the americas in 3 Nephi. When Christ died, there was great destruction for three days. Many died. Many suffered the loss of loved ones. More than that, the people realized that they had been wrong, and because of their lack of willingness to change, they had suffered the consequences.
I always thought that Christ appeared after those three days. It is much more probably that he appeared MONTHS and months later. It makes sense the setting. At the time of his arrival, the people were talking about him. They were MARVELING. Instead of mourning. What gets me here is that Christ truly gives us the opportunity to stop, reflect, repent, and then go about the changes WE NEED TO MAKE and prepare ourselves to have him come into our lives. Again, have seen this in my life and others lives.
These people were prepared spiritually for him. When he arrived he gave EVERY SINGLE person there the opportunity to feel for themselves the prints of his Atonement. Or rather, he gave each of them the opportunity to gain a testimony for themselves of WHO he really is. Being that close they could feel him, hear him, smell him, and they were able to literally get to know the Savior personally. Christ wants to do that with us to. He is more than willing to reveal himself to us, but we must prepare ourselves spiritually like these Nephites did.
We are spiritually needy because of our weaknesses, but he also gives us time to stop and to feel and to reflect and ultimately to repent and prepare ourselves. In the right state he will come to us. That is a huge thing that I miss about my mission. I felt it easier to feel his presence and learn about Christ there. Every day I was able to study his life and his teachings profoundly and I truly was able to understand more about him. I was in the frame of mind adequate to feel his presence. And I am not saying that I cant do that now, it just felt more frequently as I was his formal representative. WHAT A BLESSING. I cannot imagine the Lord's infinite patience and love for us. He gives us the benefit of the doubt. We just have to recognize what we need to change, and constantly, maybe slowly but continuously change those things and draw nearer to him.
It is interesting as Christ says, "I sense that ye are weak and do not understand all that I have been commanded to speak to you..." he then gives the command to go to your HOMES (he did not say houses but homes) and ponder (my I interject with your families here?) and on the morrow he would return. Ponder pray seek. He then desires to give them more. As he says, "Your faith is sufficient that I may heal you."
Although they didnt understand everything, he gave them the opportunity, but even more he points out that the faith of these people was sufficient. And that is what I need. It is what we need if we are to grow closer to him. if we are to find TRUE HAPPINESS.
So that is just a few things I have been reflecting upon. So my challenge, Think about what is holding you back from being the best version of yourself. From being like Christ, and then make a list of what you need to change.
I love you ps.
JP
PS everyone should watch kid history on youtube. I LOVE IT.
