reflections on a premature thought process.

This semester I'm studying Shakespeare in one of my English classes. Oh how we all love Shakespeare and his beautiful work,how he revolutionized English Literature, his major contribution of... wanna know the only hard evidence he left behind? A certificate of birth and court orders against him for violence and tax evasion. I'm not saying that I agree with the cynics who claim that Shakespeare didn't write what he claimed; i'm actually pondering the question of when you die, what will you leave behind? What will be the hard evidence against (or for) your cause?

For Shakespeare, the records he left behind do not paint a picture of the romantic, brilliant, intelligent man we get from his plays. He seems more like an arrogant rich kid without direction. So far the only records I have to my name are a birth certificate, a high school diploma, and a speeding ticket. Due to modern technology and what not there could be more information if someone were to look for it. I guess that's awfully presumptuous to believe that one day someone will actually think enough about me to study my life. Perhaps I will do great things and be a great mom, friend, sister, or even just person. However, it seems like quite an easy thing for people to fall into the category of "sucking at life" and i hope that i won't fail myself and the people who look to me for support. So in short I guess you must ask yourself:

"To be or not to be?"

13.1 to clarity

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson

I often find myself getting stuck in the common mindset, limiting myself based on social standards. This past week i've had time to reflect on my thought process because of the many experiences i've had which include: watching the olympics (Go Misty Mae-Treanor and Kerri Walsh!), visiting family & friends, enjoying the beautiful outdoors that is Utah, and running in the Top of Utah half marathon!!!
Around April I was sitting on my couch and thought to myself, "hey i wanna run a half marathon." The next day I emailed one of my closest life-long friends Lindsey and we planned a training schedule. I'm gonna be honest, I have never been a runner. In fact, I hated running. But i really wanted to accomplish this task. I've always been a determined person, but in the past my determination stemmed from something less noteworthy. For some reason I've always felt the need to prove myself. To whom, I'm not entirely sure, but after talking with my best friend Hayley, it could be attributed to the fact that i am the youngest child. However, the experience of training for this marathon totally changed my perspective and perhaps even created a new driving force in my life.

After a few weeks of training I realized just how amazing the sport of running is. I can't even begin to relate how this sport has changed my views. It is such a personal sport and you get exactly what you put into it. As I was running my marathon I had approximately 2 hours and 40 minutes of "me" time. I contemplated life's worries and wonders as i experienced the cool canyon air and crisp smell of pine while my ipod mixed with the dull thud of approximately 2,000 runners played in the background. I kept reminding myself, mind over body, mind over body. I pushed myself so hard and I never stopped running (really jogging cuz i'm slow) till i crossed the finish line. It was amazing. This goal that I set might have been initially set so i could say, "hey i ran a half marathon," but as i crossed the finish line, it was all me. I crossed at around 2 hours and 40 minutes into a huge crowd cheering me on and my best bud lindsey who finished about 20 minutes faster coming out to meet me. The feeling of finishing was indescribable until the first wave of nausea swept over me...

In short, I accomplished something that 6 months ago i never would have dreamed of doing. It's all about mind over body. I am fabulous. Gorgeous. & Talented. Just like life, we have our passions, but it's mind over body that direct our passions. I don't know if my accomplishing this goal will liberate others, but this experience made me reflect on the people in my life who liberate me which i will talk about in future blogs.

My very first blog

I would like to pretend that i'm a girl that has something to say. I may not have to pretend that i have something to say, but perhaps i just have to pretend that what i am saying is worth writing. In Caesars time they actually listened to the poets. The poets were wise people. Now, writing is more critically viewed. Maybe it's because the people have gotten smarter...or the poets just became stupider (word?).
What i have to say may be unappealing to many, but i'll write because i love to do it. It is my passion, a driving force in my life. People may think it is a waste of time, and perhaps it is; however, i look at this passionless world of people just living to breathe and i can honestly say i have one up on the average joe in his average world and average job. I have passions and i think that is what separates me from most of the world.

So i'll write about my life. My opinions. My job. and pretty much anything else i can think to share. Keep you up to date with the life and times of a girl called JP.