You know that feeling that comes right before a big change? Where you feel excited, anxious, maybe even nauseous, happy, and depressed all at the same exact moment leaving the rest of your mind and body completely confused. Add exhausted and completely in love with your setting and you have what this 22 year old Sister missionary is feeling. Sister Peterson-only for a little more time.
This is it. 18 months is such a short time even though there are moments that feel like forever. It is my way of life and I am comfortable. Sorry for the word vomit but I guess I am still trying to decide how I feel. Grateful I guess would be almost good enough to spell out what is going on inside. How could the Lord be so patient so good to me as to give me this experience? How in the world would i be able to get along in the rest of my life without these 18 months? The best preparation for the rest of my life.
I thought that I knew pretty well the gospel. That I knew what it meant to love others. Repentance, Faith, Hope, forgiveness, patience, hard work, prayer and truth. In reality I knew nothing. In reality I still know little. I had a testimony of the church. But now I feel it in every part of me that Christ IS THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD and that he guides his people today through a living prophet with the real truth, not just some of it. I have felt what progress is and I have seen it in others but mostly in me. I have seen the gospel of Jesus Christ change my life and those around me. I never really deserved this, but my Heavenly Father knew that I needed it.
I guess I understand maybe a tiny bit better what Christ did when he was here. or maybe i just understand it in a different way. How did he love people so perfectly? He gave me so many experiences that led me to understand at least a little more. He has taught me how the first thing to do is pray and then how to pray. Patience is a way to show your love. Repentance is not just for our investigators. Hard work is what comes from being faithful. And forgiveness, how can i not forgive when the Lord is so very forgiving for my many weaknesses and imperfections. And faith...well I know much better what it is and what it is not and how to show it. How everything winds down to that simple and profound truth. The first lawof the gospel.
This week I have learned a little more about hope. How it is so intwined with faith. I dont have anxiety for the future anymore. I know how I want to live. I know how I WILL live. I know that all the blessings the Lord has promised me are completely dependent on my faithfulness to the covenants that I have made. Eter 12:4-Hope for a better world. A better life. I have seen how obedience and faith have changed the lives of my investigators and converts and in my life as well. There is always a choice to make- I will constantly choose the better part.
"To become who we desire to be, we have to be, constantly each day, the person who we desire to become...a righteous character is a manifestation of the person who you are becoming." -Richard G. Scott
In my job, school, family, marriage etc, I am not so insecure anymore, I know that the Lord will bless me as long as I am being obedient and doing my part. I guess that is a little more concrete or "written in my heart"-if you do your part, the Lord will do the rest. TENDER MERCIES.
I needed to come to Northeast Brasil to find these things out. My heart hurts to leave them but it is time. The only thing constant in life is that life is constantly changing. I guess Im off to a new adventure in life. I love these people. I love this culture. I love this language. I love the gospel and I love my mission.
Thank you, all of you who have supported me and helped me to be able to be here. Thank you to those who have written me and supported me. And mostly for those who have prayed for me. I have a certainty that it was your prayers that gave me the strength that I needed in the moments that I needed something more. I am eternally grateful to all of you and to the Lord for allowing me to be his servant here and to wear this tag that is ever so sacred and important to me. To represent the people that I love most, my family-I feel like i have never loved you all more than I do now, or maybe that before I wasnt as capable of loving as I am now- and my Lord Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ. I know that I am his representative here in Maceió and I know the importance of an example. "Let your light so shine before this people.." (3 Nephi 12:16). I am determined to live this for the rest of my life.
Sei que Cristo é meu Salvador e Redentor. Sei que essa é Sua obra e ela é essencial no plano de Deus. Sei que as famílias podem ser eternas. Temos as chaves do sacerdócio para fazer essas ordenanças TÃO sagradas. Sei que Cristo guia essa igreja por meio um propheta vivo, Thomas S. Monson. Sei que aquele rapaz Joseph Smith verdadeiramente viu Deus e Jesus Cristo. Aparte daquele momento, o mundo mudou. Tudo começou com uma simples oração. O Senhor ouvi essas orações de seus filhos. Ele nos ama. O Livro de Mórmon é a palavra de Deus assim como a Bíblia. É o livro mais correto no mundo. Tudo isso eu sei, é mais uma certeza do que uma crença agora. Acima de tudo, sei que Cristo vive e é o Filho de Deus que expiou por nossos pecados.
I only have a few more days to be Sister Peterson and i will take advantage of each minute.
Proud to wear this sacred tag,
Sister PETERSON
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